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blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

whatbethsays:

so it was my brother’s thirteenth birthday today and he came home from school with this horror-struck expression on his face and came into my room and sort of just stood there

and i asked him “what’s wrong?”

and he said “MY GIRLFRIEND HUGGED ME AND SAID HAPPY BIRTHDAY”

and i was like “well that’s good isn’t it?”

and then he came closer and just whispered, really quietly “no you don’t understand i said happy birthday BACK”

im still laughing oH FUCK

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